Ice, White & Blue

Redhead Amok in Antarctica

Envy, Seething

I can't help it, I am envious. I am bleeding ulcers wanting to be on the Ice so bad right now. When I read the blogs of my pale Winterover friends Andre and Rebecca and Phil  I cannot help but seeth, and feel a tightness in my gut, that I'm not there. Winfly has begun, the first few flights are in, the Winterovers have freshies for the first time, my roommate of yore Marsha is experiencing her first Winfly and darkness on the Ice, friends are back and getting hugs and seeing the sunsets.

*I* should be there right now. I did Winfly last year. I LOVED Winfly, it was the best part of my season. Despite my illness (the whole mating call of the Antarctic Weddell seal cough when the crud hit me like a sledgehammer) I claimed Winfly by falling in love with the seasonal flux of this time of year.

I want to be there NOW, not in 6 weeks on the second flight of Mainbody. I ache with it. I want to be the person arriving with limes and pineapples and delivering them to the people I've been missing this winter, to reward those people who survived a Winter in Antarctica, a season I will one day experience.  I want to be building my room for the season with items from skua and the departing Winterovers. I want to be eating in the Galley and looking out the window at 10am to pitch darkness lit by the orange lights of town, tiny sparkly snowflakes squalling and swirling and dancing across the ground in a hypnotic entrancing way. I want to wear every layer in my ECW gear and walk outside past Ob Hill to where the lights don't reach from town and lie down in the snow, looking up into the magical diamonds of the sky, the Milky Way solid and milky wide spilling across the sky. I want to watch the lights of the runway from town flashing in the darkness. I want to stand outside gazing at a blood red and pulsing sunset, clouds everchanging creeping like a bloodbath spill toward me in town.

Argh! I am dying a little bit inside with each word from my friends. I KNOW what they are experiencing, some of them for the first time, and I envy that first time.

I somehow don't envy the Winterovers in this gut wrenching needy way I do those arriving Winfly. I think it's as if it has been taken away from me, like I am being kept from my beloved Ice. I have experienced the wonders of Winfly, and this year, I am not there. I know the rhythms of this transitional season, both social, and work, and weather, the daylight increasing at a fever pitch 20+ minutes each day.

I'll be back there someday during this season. Maybe even I'll get a Winterover/Winfly gig. But until then I look in on my friends' blogs and I'll recognize everything, while missing everything.

posted by: coldwish at 23:47 | link | comments (5) |
between 2006

But In The Meantime...

I'm unemployed, and on the dole via NH's lovely Unemployment Insurance system. Talk about jumping through hoops.

But, next week I've picked up a two day film job as a PA (Production Assistant).

Which, for me, is a blast from the past. I worked for about 2 years in New York City in "the business" as they call it. Around 1997-98. This job sort of fell into my lap through a weird confluence of coincidences and contacts. I have not sought to return to film/commercial/video work at all.

So next Wednesday & Thursday I will be working for $150/day as a PA on a short industrial film/commercial. Each day will probably be about 10+ hours long, so the hourly wage ain't so good, but what the hey! It's a job, it's money and it's something I know how to do.

The interview with the director was 2 1/2 hours long, and we spent a lot of time on Antarctica, and less on my actual experience in the business. Conversationally we were all over the map: from what it's like to parent a 13 year old daughter to American politics (he's a Brit), to old and new stories of the biz, to the disappearance of the goldfish in his outdoor goldpond. But it kept on coming back to that thing that I do. The Ice can do that, trump anything else you've ever done in your life, overshadow your past such that people stumble and trip in conversations with you. It's so completely alien to your average American. I used to get that when I worked in the film business, too. But stories of John Travolta, Emma Thompson, The Rolling Stones and Shania Twain aside, I didn't take away much more away from it than a few anecdotes about famous people, and a bit of disillusionment about the magic of filmmaking. I didn't actually enjoy working in the business. But with the Ice, well, I have fallen deeply in love and that emotion is so powerful that I still tear up when people ask why.

posted by: coldwish at 22:31 | link | comments (2) |
between 2006

Amended Offer Of Employment

The Official Contract:

August 16, 2006

Ms. Genevieve Ellison  
[Home Address]

Subject: Amended Offer Of Employment

Dear Genevieve:

Raytheon Polar Services Company (RPSC) is pleased to offer you the following position at the indicated salary:

Position: FUELS OPERATOR
Salary per week:  $685.26
Performance-based bonus range upon completion of contract: 0-28%
Contract length: approximately 27 September 2006 to approximately 25 February 2007
Anticipated deployment date: 27 September 2006
Station: McMurdo Station, Ross Island - Antarctica
Department contact prior to assignment: [current Fuels Dept Admin name]

Please advise us of your decision to accept this offer by signing the copy of the offer letter and returning it to Human Resources in the postage-paid envelope provided within 14 days of receipt of this letter. We will consider your offer officially accepted when we receive your signed offer letter and completed paperwork. Please communicate any questions or change of address to your department contact.

Your employment with RPSC is contingent upon your ability to pass a pre-employmentbackground check and urine drug screen.  A drug screen kit and directions have been enclosed with your offer letter. [This is not true, as it was enclosed with my Alternate Offer Letter, and completed several months ago.] You must the pre-employment drug test within 72 hours of acceptance of your offer of employment. [I went to a local LabCorp lab and peed in a cup for them, without charge, because Raytheon has an account with them. Lotsa paperwork but quick and easy if you have a local lab.] You will not be permitted to begin work until HR has received the results of the drug screen. [I was clear, as always. I don't do drugs. I don't need extra cause for insanity and general loopiness.] Positive results of this drug screen will be released to HR for future eligibility determination. [Yup, pretty strict about this.] Ensure your collector sends the drug screen cup in the appropriate package back to LabCorp.

A separate urine drug analysis kit will be included in your medical packet. This is a separate test from the one found on your offer letter packet. You will need to take both tests before you will be permitted to begin work. [And once more with feeling, eh? I'm all done this.]

Inasmuch as your job responsibilities require deployment to Antarctica, your employment is also contingent upon your ability to pass the medical and dental examination requirements of our client, the National Science Foundation. Please continue processing your medical paperwork. [Done this too, as of a month ago or more: Mammo, Pap, Physical, Dental X-Rays and Check Up. Hearing test. My first year, as a Fuelie I'll be way close to big jet engines and they want to know if I'm losing my hearing between seasons.]

In addition this offer is also contingent upon verification of United States citizenship or legal right to work in the United States. [The only reason my US passport is worth keeping. Oh yeah, and family and cat.] On your first day of employment you are required to bring with you proof of your eligibility to work in the US, as required by Immigration Reform and Control Act. Acceptale evidence is defined on the Form I-9 list of "Acceptable Documents."  Lack of documentation on your first day will result in your ineligibility for employment.

If your position requires training or temporary duty, additional information will follow under separate cover.

[Name]
Recruiting Specialist Sr

Signed and dated and mailed back the day I received it. I'm all about the paperwork.

Now, I'm official.

posted by: coldwish at 21:49 | link | comments (1) |
between 2006

Roommate Wanted

I'm going to put this out there to the universe, or the blogosphere.

I am looking for a roommate for this season in McMurdo Station. I will be a Fuelie, arriving at the start of Mainbody (early October, this year).

My previous roommate, the magnificent, unflappable, Marsha, has chosen to room with her paramour/beau for the season.  I wish her the best and am very happy for her with the move. But, she was such a marvellous roomie for both seasons I've been down there, that I will admit to the occasional hyperventilating shit fit panic attack that I will have to Learn A New Person this season.

I have not made strong moves in the direction of seeking out a new roomie for this season--despite having known since I left the Ice in February that Marsha would be rooming elsewhere--because I was an Alternate, not a Primary, for this season. That means I didn't know for sure that I was going back this season. I had been reassured that the percentage chance of my going back was 90%, but still that wee 10% was enough to make me dwell on the possibility I wouldn't be going. It was also enough to prevent me from asking people to room with me, because if they requested me as a roomie for the season, and then I ended up not going down, THEY'd be the ones who'd get screwed and not have their first choice as roomie.

For any Ice FNGs out there who are coming down, let me explain a bit about the housing situation, as a former Housing Admin: It's all about the points, Housing Points, that is. Housing Points are the obscure and scary calculations that go into deciding Where You Will Live for the season. It determines which dorm you can live in, your choice of rooms in that dorm and who your roommate can be.

Housing Points are determined based on two criteria: Your Job and Your Time In Program.

For example: I am a Fuelie, and as I recall it, Fuels Operators get 4 points for the Job Points. That's the base upon which Housing adds the Time In Program Points. I have spent a total of 9 months (give or take a week) in the Program. I get .25 points for every month spent in program. Therefore, this season I get 6.25 Housing Points. My time has all been spent on Ice, but there are full time employees from HQ who are technically considered In Program in regards to Housing Points, even if they have spent the last 4 years in a cubicle (poor soul) in Denver. It is not just time spent on Ice that counts, that's the point I'm making. This, of course, can cause some disgruntlement amongst Ice Folks when a cubicle-dweller from Denver who has never been to the Ice gets better housing than a person who has been coming down for 4-5 seasons. In other words, a lot of managers and supervisors have their asses covered in the Dorm Stakes, and never have to experience life in The Ghetto (Mammoth Mountain Inn and Hotel California) with the thinnest walls and the smallest rooms on station. These dorms tend to be where the FNGs and the low on the totem pole GAs, Janitors and DAs get stuck. And as of last season--when the supervisors in their infinite wisdom renegotiated and shuffled the Job Points--Shuttles.

Why is this significant? Well, if you, my dear reader, are thinking "Damn Skippy! I'd Love To Room With Genevieve!!" then let me tell you the limitations to this scheme. If YOU are a FNG DA (Fucking New Guy Dining Attendant) then, Congratulations! You have accepted the HARDEST JOB ON CONTINENT. Not only will you be working harder and longer than anyone else on Ice, but you will be paid the lowest wages of anyone else on continent (Shuttles, DAs, GAs and Janitors all make the same). I respect the hell out of you for taking this on. You get only 1 Housing Point for your job, and you bring no Time in Program to the Ice this season. (How Many Ways Can We Screw You? Let me count the ways: miniscule wages, hardest work, shittiest housing, tough schedule).

Now, did you read up there where I calculated my points at about 6.25 points for this season coming up? Yup, that makes a difference. If I want to room with you, and you with me, all we have to do is request each other by name on the Housing Forms you received with your other massive amounts of paperwork. One hitch, just in case you are thinking that you can hitch your Pointless Existence to mine and get yourself into a better dorm? Nope. No can do. We can still room together but I would be forced into housing that you were eligible for, and have to forgo my 5.5 extra points and the few housing privileges that brings me.

I'm so very sorry, but I simply can't live in The Ghetto, and I'd prefer not to do the 203s either, but I'll be flexible there. I'm going to live in dorm 211 again. I might even have enough points this season to get me into one of the Upper Case Dorms: 208 or 209.

Every year it changes; there is no cut & dried number that'll get you into the best dorms, because each season the Housing Points spread differs. If there are a large number of FNGs on Ice this year then the Housing Lottery will be skewed down and some low-pointers may get bumped up to better housing when they run out of point-appropriate housing. If there are more returnees and full-timers down for the season, then the points skew high, and some high pointers get pushed out of the Upper Class dorms. Yup, Housing will hear complaints about both situations, and will be accused of unfairness and favoritism. But get this, Housing doesn't set the rules, they just have to enforce them as fairly as possible.

So, ask yourself these questions re: Rooming With Genevieve:

Are you going to be working at McMurdo Station in Antarctica for the Summer Season 2006-2007?

How many Housing Points will you have? If you are not sure how it's calculated, I can help you out there. I don't know all the job points for all the jobs, but I know generally where people have been housed before, and your supervisor should have the info at hand fairly easily if you ask.

Do you smoke? I am a non-smoker, and cannot/will not room with a smoker, even a casual outdoors-only-when-drunk smoker.

Do you think farting is funny? Because I fart every morning like I could be trumpeting down the Walls of Jericho, and Marsha, she used to wake up laughing each morning. Not to mention, she gave as good as she got.  (Yes, you did, Marsha dearest.) You don't have to laugh, but I have to be able to fart around you.

Are you a heavy drinker who will be stumbling drunkenly back to the room late every other night with no consideration for my attempts to sleep? I sleep 8 hours a night, I'm up by 6:30 am. While I'm on the Ice sleep is a precious commodity, we work damn hard 6 days a week, and I need to have my game face on at work. But, then again, I sleep in earplugs, and I wear a hat down over my eyes so I won't get woken up easily.

I prefer the room cool not hot, but that's negotiable. I'd rather not have a TV in the room, but that's negotiable. Most things are negotiable with good communication. I'm not that tied to much but the dorm and the non-smoking.

Benefits of rooming with me? I'm quiet, I don't have many guests in the room, and as a Fuelie there is a damn good chance that I will be sent elsewhere for weeks on end and you will be ALONE in the room while I'm gone. Trust me when I say you cannot underestimate the power of being alone in your room every now and then.

Oh, and I don't really care if you are male or female.

So, help a girl out? Room with me?

posted by: coldwish at 23:15 | link | comments (3) |
between 2006

But Isn't It Cold?

I am asked this constantly: How can you handle the cold? Isn't it cold? What about the cold? I even get this from Mainers and Canadians. I'm more understanding when I hear it from Texans, but that's about the only crap I'll take from them. I can say that because I am half Texan.

So yes, I confess, I like the cold. I like it a damn sight better than the heat. But, there are different kinds of cold.

There is such a huge difference between the cold of, say, New Zealand, and the cold of the Ice. NZ cold is damp cold, it gets in your bones, it creeps into your bed, it sits heavily on your skin, it beggars your own body of its warmth.

On the Ice, it is so dry all the time that snot solidifies, and nasal passages bleed for lack of moisture. Skin flakes like you are your own snowglobe. You cannot see your breath outside because the air is so dry it disappears before it even leaves your mouth, it steals the moisture of your lungs and snaps it into oblivion. But, when you heat with your body the tiny layer of air between your skin and your polypro longjohns, it stays warm. It's dry, there is nothing sneaking up on you and chilling you, like the damp does.

Okay, so the wind can be wicked rude, but still it is such a huge difference in colds. I went from -7C (20F) on Ice to about 22C (73F) in Christchurch overnight and I nearly froze my butt off when a tiny breeze lifted the hairs on my arm and laid a trail of moisture upon me. At first I reveled in that warm wrapping of my skin with the blanket of humidity, when I had been dry and flaky-skinned for 6 months. But the next day I shivered, goosebumps rose on my body, I shook, I wore fleece and a windbreaker and couldn't keep warm. My clothes were damp and sucked my own body heat right off my body. It's why we don't wear cotton on the Ice. Cotton in the field can kill you. You sweat, it gets wet and doesn't dry, you can't maintain your body heat, you get cold, you die. Moisture is much more insidious than dry.

On the Ice you get to keep your body warmth, in NZ you don't. That's the difference.

I like the dry cold, it's in my nature to like it. I was brought up with it. The coldest winters I have ever spent were the ones I lived in Japan.  The warmest winter (Northern Hemisphere) I recall was the coldest by temperature, and snow accumulation (outside of last Winfly in McMurdo). I spent one glorious snowdrifted, whitescaped winter in Quebec City years ago. I rented a basement room, with a two-burner hotplate, a tiny fridge, a twin bed and a tiny window at eye height. It looked out onto snow. When I moved in snow was already on the ground. I shared a bathroom with a businessman, a novice nun and another student.   The next spring I took a 10-day vacation which coincided with the major spring thaw. When I got back to Quebec I wandered up four streets looking for my house. I passed by it three times. The snow had melted. I didn't know the house had hedges, and my mind refused to recognize it. There was that much snow.

I recall the layers in which I, illogically,but stylishly, dressed:  the long, black wool, man's coat that came down on me mid-calf; the tights I wore under my leggings (sometimes two pairs), the foolish, little, pointy-toed, black boots with extra black cotton men's socks, the layers of black shirts and black cotton sweaters, the large black wool scarf wrapped around my head like a chador, with a black wool cap pulled down over top, or a black wool fedora, another scarf wrapped around my throat over my face. (Yeah, black, unrelenting black. Goth, I was.) I wore gloves, and mittens both. I stood on the 18 inches (40cm) of solid ice built up on the sidewalk, waiting for the bus to college where I was studying French. On many days, if I breathed in deeply my nose froze shut, my lungs burned with the cold. But I remained warm. I do not recall standing there stamping my feet, breathing on my hands, trying to warm up and anxious for the bus to get there already. I don't recall the bite of blue on my nose or ears. At an average -15C. I don't recall ever being touched by the cold there.

But, in Japan, with average winter temps of 10-15 ABOVE 0C--and maybe two snowfalls a year during which my Tokyo neighbours swept off their walks with brooms, and carried umbrellas when they ventured out, and the trains stopped all over the city until the tracks were clear--I froze my ass off.  It was humid nearly all the time. I can recall sliding into my bed after a chilly winter day, unable to get warm. I shivered, shook, curled up into a tight little ball only my nose out into the air to breath. I got up and piled every blanket in the house on top of me until the weight was such I could barely roll over. I wore flannel jammies with socks and a hat to bed. I could not get warm. I shook all night long, night after night. I caught bad colds with major fevers on a regular basis. Until I was introduced to a special machine the Japanese use to warm and dry their beds before bed time. It was like a giant, yellow, wheeled hair drier with a hose that blew dry hot air into your bed clothes before you climbed in. Only then could my own body heat be retained in my the bed enough that I could sleep. But I had to always DRY the bedclothes first.

I also lost my favorite pair of Texas cowboy boots that winter, when the leather heels grew mold centimeters deep overnight and ate through them in a month or more.

Japan: wet cold. Quebec: dry cold.

There's a world of difference.

So, relatively speaking, the Ice is easy.

But then, I'm not Shackleton, and I'm not waiting for a bus outside on the Ice. I used to drive it though.

Yes, it can get cold. But it's different cold. You get used to it.

posted by: coldwish at 00:54 | link | comments (7) |
between 2006

Deisel Dreams

What's a Fuelie got to do?

A Fuelie gets to be outside in Antarctica. *grin*

Fuelie = Fuels Operator. McMurdo Station runs on diesel and petrol. Once a year, in February, a special tanker delivers enough fuel for the South Pole & McMurdo (and field camps and Scott Base) stations for the next year. The buildings are heated, sea water is purified and vehicles are run on this dirty fuel. Planes (LC130 Hercs, C17s, Twin Otters) trucks, helos, Cats, snowmobiles, etc are all run on this fuel.

Miles & miles of hose run from the tanks that surround town, out to the airfields, delivering fuel. The hose is rolled out at the start of the summer season, rolled back up before winter shut down. By Fuelies. This hose is checked for leaks on a regular basis, by Fuelies.

Fuelies get to deal with the fuel. They drive fuel trucks around town delivering fuel to the buildings. They deal with the hoses. They operate the fuel pits at the airfields and help fuel the planes. They fuel the helicopters.

It sounds a bit prosaic, but it gets people outside, there's a whole pantload of different jobs to do and we all get rotated through the different tasks every few weeks. I may get to go to the field camps (which I've never done), I may even get to go to the Pole (score!). I might get to staff Marble Point, a fueling station for helicopters.  For sure I'll get outside every day, I'll be working my ass off, and will roll back into my dorm after work every day to shower before going to dinner. I will be doing an honest day's work, and getting paid for it, better than the two previous seasons.

It's got a good reputation on the Ice and Fuelies have a certain je ne sais quoi about them, but that may just be the odor of deisel that so many non-Fuelie Ice folks comment upon when Fuelies roll into the Galley for lunch. I'll wear my stink proudly, as a flag of proof of what I do.

Miraculously, this department has something very few departments have, even by the end of the season: They still enjoy their jobs, and are excited to be members of their department.  Three times during some of their most difficult weeks--while the rest of the station were drawing very near to utterly frazzled and frustrated by the endless efforts of the season--the Fuelies invited me in to work with them. They were fun, easy to be with, willing to teach, and still interested in their jobs. They demonstrated a cohesiveness, a variety of work, and good supervision in the midst of corporate and personal idiocy.

I also like all the Fuelies I've met, bottom to top, and I look forward to working by their side as one of them.

But most importantly: It's my new job on Ice. I fuel things. Details will follow when I learn my job. Expect adventures.

I, Fuelie.

posted by: coldwish at 23:10 | link | comments (1) |
between 2006

I, Fuelie

It's official, Scott just called. I'm a Fuelie.

I have wanted that identity going on two seasons now.

I. Am. A. Fuelie.

I deploy in early October after some training in Denver.

I'm a Fuelie.

Me. Genevieve. Fuelie be. I, Fuelie.

Yeah.

I return to my beloved Ice in a job I'll like. Scott (boss dude) says it's going to be a physically hard season, with a lot of demands on the department due to some new regs and a few extra projects. I can handle hard. Yup. No fear. No doubt.

Me be Fuelie.

posted by: coldwish at 13:47 | link | comments (3) |
between 2006

Kitty Disapproval

I have always had, all the life of my cat Tomoe (going on 15 years), multiple earrings in my left ear. Seven to be exact. For the last 8 years or so I have sported the same 6 small silver hoops and simply not thought about them.

I removed one last season when the constant wearing of the wool cap, and my wearing of a hat to bed every night (to block the constant light), caused it to become irritated. The top one. No great loss. Down to 6.

Then I found that the next highest earring looked silly once I got off the Ice and was not sporting a hat over my ears day in & day out (literally). And it kept on catching in my windbreaker. So I removed it.

Well, this last week herself has objected to the remainder of my earrings.

Years of licking my neck, biting my ears, headbutting my chin later, and she's suddenly offended by the aesthetics of them? They taste funny? What is up with that?

In the last 4 days she has removed each and every one of my remaining 5 earrings. Her approach is subtle. She licks up my neck, butts my chin aside with her head, then moves onto my ear. Never my right ear, my left ear. She licks my earlobe (which is generally clear of any earring if I'm not going out) then bites through a hoop, and pulls it off.

I hear a ping and she is once more launched from the lap that was and I am down on the ground searching for yet another tiny hoop.

I am currently earringless, utterly unadorned in the ear area. I'm just gonna let it go. I've had them for over 20 years at this point. They will not heal over and I don't really care anymore.

I am, however, not letting her near my nose ring.

I am thankful I have nothing else pierced.

I will stand by her judgment. Besides, she'll never know what I do in the Southern Hemisphere, and what Tomoe doesn't know won't hurt her.

posted by: coldwish at 14:31 | link | comments (1) |
between 2006

Fear of Blogging

Testing

Okay folks, an explanation.

I have been having quite a few issues with mo'time lately, such that I simply stopped blogging. In fact, I was so pissed off about it, having lost many a good post, and having had to go through the hell of reformatting in HTML and reposting about three times on average in order to get my post to come up, that I simply stopped. Couldn't deal with the dren.

Created another blog elsewhere to see if different systems were easier or worse, or what. Questioned if I should be paying for the premium membership here when I simply wasn't even using the primary function for which I had upgraded: photo storage space.

Do you see any photos?

No, of course not. Because coincidental with the mo'time issues, I was back on my mother's computer. Which soon after my landing got hit by a power surge (don't even ask) and was fried to the tune of beaucoup time & money spent getting it fixed. The 'puter is back & running but it has no WORD PROCESSING Application. Lost that, can't afford to buy another, not to mention I'm on a iBook G4 right now and how rare are other Mac users? Do I even know any?

So, when I write my posts? I write them in my gmail account, because I don't have any word editing program at all on the Mac. *sigh* There is no formatting in gmail that I can cut & paste over here. I have to cut & paste then remove all the frelled formatting that has been dragged over in the process by going into the HTML and tweaking the frell out of it. Then I lose the post. Again.

It's been hella frustrating.

Mo'time may be back & functioning. I may be back blogging here. But I'm sorta liking the whole Blogspot universe for its simplicity and the fact it hasn't frelled me over yet. Yet. Though over there I miss the functions available here. Mo'time is a cool place but it has expanded so rapidly with its handy features that I cannot keep up with half of them. Really, I just want to post words and pictures. I'm not looking for fancy.

If & when I get my trust back in mo'time, I'll continue posting here. Until then I'm playin' somewhere else.

I've even gone so far as to research putting all my old posts in another blog, if I can figure out how to pre-date posts so the original dates are on them.

Just sayin', it's what I've been thinking.

posted by: coldwish at 11:18 | link | comments (6) |
between 2006